Cigar: El Triunfadore Lancero
Vitola: 7 1/4" x 38
Wrapper: Connecticut Broadleaf Maduro
Binder: Nicaragua
Filler: Nicaragua
Made in El Rey de los Habanos in Miami by Pepin Garcia for Pete Johnson (Tatuaje)
I like secrets. The whole mystique behind something hidden and "not for public disclosure" is really enticing to me... which, if im honest with myself, is probably why i started smoking in the first place. Peer pressure is only part of it: theres something about everyone telling me to stay away from something that makes me want to see what all the fuss is about. Thank god for negative advertising, as it led me to the leaf which i now make my passion and profession...
well, Pete Johnson is telling everyone to stop wanting this cigar. It is the only cigar in the line, so it might as well just be called "El Triunfadore" instead of the lancero in that line. The name is that of a Cuban cigar that has long since disappeared, just in case you were wondering.
I heard about it while i was surfing the web looking for information on the tatuaje Monster series, of which i regret to say there is still none. The only tidbit i can share is that the box pete designed makes the Garcia's think he's crazy. Thatll be a fun halloween present.
So, i come across this cigar. It's a lancero, which immediately sold me on it, but even more so it has the La Riqueza monster connecticut wrapper on it, and since i love that wrapper i was popping a chubby thinking about how that would translate in a lancero format, where wrapper is the be-all and end-all. It's always been my thought that if you get a good wrapper leaf, you're crazy not to make a lancero out of it. I mean, come on. Its like creating a beautiful color red and not covering a convertible with it. You'd be stupid not to.
So, i immediately called John at Draper's in DC, where i'm now located (a story for another time) and asked if they got it, to which he said Yup. So, i scooted on down there this afternoon and picked up three of em to smoke and check out.
Now, a disclaimer: i am not only a Pepin whore, and will smoke anything he has ever touched or rolled, but i am a Pete Johnson groupie of the worst sort. I have spoken with him on the phone maybe twice, and each time i have said the following. "I dont know if you get told this a lot, but you make the best cigars on the planet." Not "i think you make the best cigars on the planet", "you make THE BEST cigars on the planet." It's not that he blends directly for my tastes, they're just immaculately well constructed, well blended and well packaged, as well as well taken care of. They're perfecto.
So, when i say i scooted down to drapers, i mean i hightailed my ass down there to get these as fast as i could. You know, like a person who's not addicted. shyeah, thats me.
So, to the review. I smoked this inside with no wind, and with only a bottle of water for whenever my mouth got too dry. This was a tasting as pure as could be. Here's what i think.
I find that sometimes i get suggested flavors by the color or intricacy of the band (Padron's seem chocolatey, opus x seems red cherry or red pepper, etc.) so i was surprised to find a generally nondescript band on this guy. I think this will be a totally impartial review from this perspective, as im not judging on how good it is, but more what it is and how it does.
The cut was easy, and the draw was just a tad tight for my taste. Apparently, this is because, accoridng to John, these guys are wet as hell and need some time to dry out. Thats what the other two are for, if i dont do those within the week. The draw is good enough to smoke, mind you, its just got a tad push against it.
The light is easy and the burn is absolutely stunningly perfect. Its a straight line the whole way down. its rare for it to be that perfect, which is why i get that out of the way early. Construction, with the exception of the newness in the draw, is flawless. I hear Pepin may have rolled these himself, as he does with manyh of the other lanceros in his portfolio. I'm getting goosebumps.
The first third, directly from the light, is all burly. It is full flavored and on the full side of medium-to-full bodied. The spice is really downplayed at first in favor of the rich, caramel sweetness this wrapper exudes. Aso present are a slight coffee bean note, most likely from the Cabaiguan-ish filler, and some cherry wood in the aroma, but mostly its a rich, sweet cigar with a lot of complexity. The sweetness osnt sharp, to the point where it could be annoying or candy-like, but its refined and coupled with earth and a hint of bitter, like a dark chocolate caramel would be. really, really tasty.
The second third brings in the spice, and absolutely perfects this cigar. It just rolls with ascending red pepper spice, like a chocolate covered pepper that takes a moment or two to hit your nasal passages. besides this change, the revolution of the spice throughout the smoke, the cigar stays relatively the same. There's not enough filler room to put in too much development, although the ligero leaf used sat right in the center of the cigar. I was able to smoke this to the last half inch, and the oils bitterd out only once before i had to slow down and adjust.
One sad note: you HAVE to smoke this calmly. Too fast, and this harshness hits that forces you to put it down and let it rest. The Zino rule would suit this cigar well: one drag a minute. It's like training a dog: speed up and get punished, but rewards are in store for good behavior.
overall, with a semi tight draw, this is very well blended and well put together. Unfortunate, as the last three boxes available come to Drapers before the first week in October, and after that El Triunfadore is no more. Find one if you can... just dont tell anyone else. its a secret.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
Kicked in the Bills
So, in order to prevent what usually happens to all my attempts at online writing, im overcoming the overwhelming desire to ignore the blog and writing something...anything. just making sure i remember its here, so maybe i develop the habit of posting regularly. Thankfully, theres really no shortage of things to write about.
Like, for instance, smoking legislation and the ever-silent smoking lobby. Ive spent the last few hours online researching the smoking debate from the perspective of the organizations surrounding it, mostly centered around interest groups like ASH. ASH, by the way, is a hilarious website, and i encourage any depressed or sad people to give it a read to bringhten up their day. They actually try to take personal and moral credit for having their website be ash.org and not ash.com. Check it out, its a fucking hoot.
What i found is an embarassing lopsidedness in the debate, where anti-smoking activists have cornered the market on credibility, government recognition and trust by legislators. Perfect example: buying cigarettes carries an excise tax, but donating to ASH is tax-deductable charity. It is my opinion that if i give the state and federal government hundreds of dollars a year in sin taxes designed to raise pure profit, then i shouldn't have to play it again in property, capitol gains, social security or what have you. I'm a relatively wealthy smoker from new jersey: no one can argue that they pay too much in taxes with me. I win that one relatively hands down.
Although i argue against the weight of the taxes and their stipulated ends (childrens healthcare and the like), i also act against their basic premise: the government using taxes to impose values. This is not a new idea in the least. Taxes have always been one method governments use to encourage some behaviors over others, and government have used taxes and tax exemptions to encourage having children, passing on wealth, going to college, getting married, and many other things, all of them not necessarily bad in their own sense. The government determines that some things are economically good, so it uses taxes to encourage some behavior and discourage others. This has become so much a fact of life it is rarely disputed, so the next step is to move from economically good to politically good, and then morally good.
Some things, whether you do them or not, have a minimal effect on the national economy at best. I believe that, regardless of how much evidence (word used loosely) anti-smoking lobbies put on the table that smoking increases the health burden of America, that smoking or not smoking does not effect the economy. If it were, the regular purchase of a good grown agriculturally in the united states can only benefit the economy, as its profits travel many places all within our borders, from convenience store owners to cigarette manufacturers to cigarette companies to tobacco growers to the farmers themselves.
The reason they are taxed, then, is that there is an immoral context now to the act of smoking, and those in power have used that as an excuse to generate revenue from them, because now taxes are a way to make people stop doing bad things, not just economically bad things. The government, like a teacher in a room full of misparented students, must now act the parent, enforcing rules not typically in their jurisdiction in order to sleep well knowing their children are "safe". This unnerves me. You're not my real daddy.
Misparented is a good word to use, because as the argument shifts to protecting children, as it oh so often does, i question the quality of parenting in the US when parents would rather advertizing for smoking not exist than educate their own children against smoking if they so choose. I have no probem with non smokers (although they consistantly have a problem with me), and i have no problem for non smokers telling their kids smoking is bad and not to do it. Thats their prerogative: their jurisdiction.
My mom forbade me to watch the show "The Simpsons" when i was younger, and i disagree now, but i obeyed it for a long time until i was able to really understand it, at which time i appreciate it more. My parents took the responsibility of raising me seriously, and didnt trust others or force others to do it for them. so, they did their best, and they went and raised a smoker that they love because they KNOW ME AND UNDERSTAND MY PERSONALITY. the two things, raising me and understanding me, are related, and a deficit in one leads to a deficit in another.
There is a deficit in one, and the ones who get to pick up the slack are the people who would love nothing more: governments. I agree with many liberal points, but almost entirely on premise: im all for cleaner air, cheaper healthcare and other liberal talking points, id just not like our federal government to be the one in charge of it all. Is it wrong to let the states handle some of it? Is the burden too light NOT to be carried on one set of shoulders?
Apparently it is, and the weight gets passed down to us through taxes, encouraging good behavior and condemning bad ones, to the point where the government lands a swift kick in the pocketbook every time i pull out my wallet to buy cigarettes. I dont like it when the government punishes me for what it thinks is bad behavior. That's my parents job. youre not my daddy.
Now, back to the beginning: this stuff is going on, so whos fighting for me? whos fighting for my rights as a smoker? Not the tobacco companies: they dole out more anti-smoking nonsense than ever, especially since the MSA. Not the bars and restaurants where the ban is most heavily felt: they have been outshouted by the "anti smoking clientèle." Just once, id like to hear someone complain to a bar owner about how theres no outdoor heating lamps for smokers stuck out in the cold because their ashtrays sit unusable in a counter somewhere.
no, the organizations that fight for me are few and far between, and those who fight against me are wide ranging, numerous, and usually supported by or a part of the government. This is a shame: thgere can be no debate if one side makes all the rules to the game. Its time for us to start asserting ourselves and refusing to be dictated to. I'm tired of having millions and millions of mommies and daddies. Your kids are bored without you around. who knows, maybe theyre picking up smoking while youre out. look into it.
Like, for instance, smoking legislation and the ever-silent smoking lobby. Ive spent the last few hours online researching the smoking debate from the perspective of the organizations surrounding it, mostly centered around interest groups like ASH. ASH, by the way, is a hilarious website, and i encourage any depressed or sad people to give it a read to bringhten up their day. They actually try to take personal and moral credit for having their website be ash.org and not ash.com. Check it out, its a fucking hoot.
What i found is an embarassing lopsidedness in the debate, where anti-smoking activists have cornered the market on credibility, government recognition and trust by legislators. Perfect example: buying cigarettes carries an excise tax, but donating to ASH is tax-deductable charity. It is my opinion that if i give the state and federal government hundreds of dollars a year in sin taxes designed to raise pure profit, then i shouldn't have to play it again in property, capitol gains, social security or what have you. I'm a relatively wealthy smoker from new jersey: no one can argue that they pay too much in taxes with me. I win that one relatively hands down.
Although i argue against the weight of the taxes and their stipulated ends (childrens healthcare and the like), i also act against their basic premise: the government using taxes to impose values. This is not a new idea in the least. Taxes have always been one method governments use to encourage some behaviors over others, and government have used taxes and tax exemptions to encourage having children, passing on wealth, going to college, getting married, and many other things, all of them not necessarily bad in their own sense. The government determines that some things are economically good, so it uses taxes to encourage some behavior and discourage others. This has become so much a fact of life it is rarely disputed, so the next step is to move from economically good to politically good, and then morally good.
Some things, whether you do them or not, have a minimal effect on the national economy at best. I believe that, regardless of how much evidence (word used loosely) anti-smoking lobbies put on the table that smoking increases the health burden of America, that smoking or not smoking does not effect the economy. If it were, the regular purchase of a good grown agriculturally in the united states can only benefit the economy, as its profits travel many places all within our borders, from convenience store owners to cigarette manufacturers to cigarette companies to tobacco growers to the farmers themselves.
The reason they are taxed, then, is that there is an immoral context now to the act of smoking, and those in power have used that as an excuse to generate revenue from them, because now taxes are a way to make people stop doing bad things, not just economically bad things. The government, like a teacher in a room full of misparented students, must now act the parent, enforcing rules not typically in their jurisdiction in order to sleep well knowing their children are "safe". This unnerves me. You're not my real daddy.
Misparented is a good word to use, because as the argument shifts to protecting children, as it oh so often does, i question the quality of parenting in the US when parents would rather advertizing for smoking not exist than educate their own children against smoking if they so choose. I have no probem with non smokers (although they consistantly have a problem with me), and i have no problem for non smokers telling their kids smoking is bad and not to do it. Thats their prerogative: their jurisdiction.
My mom forbade me to watch the show "The Simpsons" when i was younger, and i disagree now, but i obeyed it for a long time until i was able to really understand it, at which time i appreciate it more. My parents took the responsibility of raising me seriously, and didnt trust others or force others to do it for them. so, they did their best, and they went and raised a smoker that they love because they KNOW ME AND UNDERSTAND MY PERSONALITY. the two things, raising me and understanding me, are related, and a deficit in one leads to a deficit in another.
There is a deficit in one, and the ones who get to pick up the slack are the people who would love nothing more: governments. I agree with many liberal points, but almost entirely on premise: im all for cleaner air, cheaper healthcare and other liberal talking points, id just not like our federal government to be the one in charge of it all. Is it wrong to let the states handle some of it? Is the burden too light NOT to be carried on one set of shoulders?
Apparently it is, and the weight gets passed down to us through taxes, encouraging good behavior and condemning bad ones, to the point where the government lands a swift kick in the pocketbook every time i pull out my wallet to buy cigarettes. I dont like it when the government punishes me for what it thinks is bad behavior. That's my parents job. youre not my daddy.
Now, back to the beginning: this stuff is going on, so whos fighting for me? whos fighting for my rights as a smoker? Not the tobacco companies: they dole out more anti-smoking nonsense than ever, especially since the MSA. Not the bars and restaurants where the ban is most heavily felt: they have been outshouted by the "anti smoking clientèle." Just once, id like to hear someone complain to a bar owner about how theres no outdoor heating lamps for smokers stuck out in the cold because their ashtrays sit unusable in a counter somewhere.
no, the organizations that fight for me are few and far between, and those who fight against me are wide ranging, numerous, and usually supported by or a part of the government. This is a shame: thgere can be no debate if one side makes all the rules to the game. Its time for us to start asserting ourselves and refusing to be dictated to. I'm tired of having millions and millions of mommies and daddies. Your kids are bored without you around. who knows, maybe theyre picking up smoking while youre out. look into it.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Cigar Review 4 (Partagas Serie D No. 4)
Name: Partagas Serie D No. 4
Size: Robusto (5"x50)
Filler, Binder, Wrapper: Cuba
Approx Box Date: Late 2007
This has always been one of my favorite smokes, and because i only hinted at it during my first post, i felt it deserved a full review with me being as scrutinizing as possible. So, i rationalized myself into purchasing another one and smoking it. Indoors. In a cigar parlor. Nothing to get in the way of me and my little blonde bombshell.
DONT TRUST ME BECAUSE...
1. I have had many great memories with this cigar. I remember a barbeque my father had for his partners at work, and since a few of them were cigar smokers i showed them to my humidor and we talked and smoked and had a jolly good time: shorter smokes for before dinner and more full bodied ones for after. My after dinner smoke was the D4, and i was barely an inch into the smoke when i suddenly found myself detached from the rest of the party and sitting on the hammock in beautiful 70 degree weather absolutely catatonic with pleasure. By the time i finished the smoke (its a slow burning robusto, covering almost if not exactly an hour) everyone (and i mean everyone: even my family) had either left, gone inside, or started cleaning up. Thats just one D4 story. I have more.
2. I was in a really good mood, because...
3. I'm still in St. Maarten.
So, obvious biases aside, I'm going to try to be as objective as possible in reviewing exactly what the cigar tastes like, not so much about how much i like the tastes.
Pre-Cut: Blonde is the only reasonable word to describe this cigar. The wrapper on this one is a little shabby but nothing that anyone not heavily scrutinizing the thing would notice or care about when selecting it. theres a couple of stretch marks, a few too many veins, one freckle. Nothing thats really going to affect the flavor, but it might affect the burn. I'm gonna knock it down one for construction. The foot smells like cedar and cocoa with a slight bit of cherry wood.
Cut and Cold draw: Cut is fine, and the triple cap holds together perfectly. The draw is superb: not too light, but not in any way firm. Well done!
Light: since my torch ran out of fuel i had to use a disposable (and then i remembered...matches. D'oh.) and it lit evenly and normally. This does not need to warm up: the first draw is rich and decadent, with cocoa and cherry dominating what starts out to be a sweet smoke. Theres also a leather note making the smoke seem like it has real texture on the palate, but what really resonates are the light sweetness of the cocoa and the warmth of a cherrywood instead of the harshness of cedar. The finish is bright and warm, with a slight tingle in the back of the throat.
Development: As the cigar progresses, the sweetness of the cocoa is really the only thing that stays constant. The cherrywood takes a backseat at about the first third, and its replaced by the leather, which definately takes a step up, and a nice warm cuban spice: not as much as i remember in old D4s, but its there. The leather peaks at about the second third and then it transforms into a leathery earthiness that finishes the cigar a lot stronger than when it started, bumping it up to a medium-full from a medium at the first light. The spice fluctuates, with some dead spots and some heavy spots, making this a very complex smoke. It bittered out with about an inch to go.
Burn, etc: a few cats eyes popped up here and there at the points where the wrapper defects were that i mentioned earlier, but it burned well and fixed its errors in short order.
Overall impressions/musings: Age does wonders for this smoke. this one was relatively new, but what ive found from smoking older batches with some nice years behind them is that the one thing that grows and matures the most is the spice. This becomes a stronger smoke after a while, although it wont have the spiciness of a Monte or the average Pepin.
also, a note about cuban packaging: as i mentioned earlier in another review, cuban cigar boxes smell like ass. Until i thought about it, though, i always thought thta was a bad thing. The truth is, it actually does some good for the cigar, because even though the wood smells, its not imparting any flavor on the cigar whatsoever. I mean it: i couldn't smell anything like that during any part of the smoke. Its a nice contrast from what most companies are doing now with spanish cedar, which imparts a nice flavor but a flavor nonetheless. What a cuban cigar loses in not having the aura of that wonderful warm cedar deliciousness as soon as you stick your nose in the thing, it makes up for in, sometimes, a delicious smoke.
Size: Robusto (5"x50)
Filler, Binder, Wrapper: Cuba
Approx Box Date: Late 2007
This has always been one of my favorite smokes, and because i only hinted at it during my first post, i felt it deserved a full review with me being as scrutinizing as possible. So, i rationalized myself into purchasing another one and smoking it. Indoors. In a cigar parlor. Nothing to get in the way of me and my little blonde bombshell.
DONT TRUST ME BECAUSE...
1. I have had many great memories with this cigar. I remember a barbeque my father had for his partners at work, and since a few of them were cigar smokers i showed them to my humidor and we talked and smoked and had a jolly good time: shorter smokes for before dinner and more full bodied ones for after. My after dinner smoke was the D4, and i was barely an inch into the smoke when i suddenly found myself detached from the rest of the party and sitting on the hammock in beautiful 70 degree weather absolutely catatonic with pleasure. By the time i finished the smoke (its a slow burning robusto, covering almost if not exactly an hour) everyone (and i mean everyone: even my family) had either left, gone inside, or started cleaning up. Thats just one D4 story. I have more.
2. I was in a really good mood, because...
3. I'm still in St. Maarten.
So, obvious biases aside, I'm going to try to be as objective as possible in reviewing exactly what the cigar tastes like, not so much about how much i like the tastes.
Pre-Cut: Blonde is the only reasonable word to describe this cigar. The wrapper on this one is a little shabby but nothing that anyone not heavily scrutinizing the thing would notice or care about when selecting it. theres a couple of stretch marks, a few too many veins, one freckle. Nothing thats really going to affect the flavor, but it might affect the burn. I'm gonna knock it down one for construction. The foot smells like cedar and cocoa with a slight bit of cherry wood.
Cut and Cold draw: Cut is fine, and the triple cap holds together perfectly. The draw is superb: not too light, but not in any way firm. Well done!
Light: since my torch ran out of fuel i had to use a disposable (and then i remembered...matches. D'oh.) and it lit evenly and normally. This does not need to warm up: the first draw is rich and decadent, with cocoa and cherry dominating what starts out to be a sweet smoke. Theres also a leather note making the smoke seem like it has real texture on the palate, but what really resonates are the light sweetness of the cocoa and the warmth of a cherrywood instead of the harshness of cedar. The finish is bright and warm, with a slight tingle in the back of the throat.
Development: As the cigar progresses, the sweetness of the cocoa is really the only thing that stays constant. The cherrywood takes a backseat at about the first third, and its replaced by the leather, which definately takes a step up, and a nice warm cuban spice: not as much as i remember in old D4s, but its there. The leather peaks at about the second third and then it transforms into a leathery earthiness that finishes the cigar a lot stronger than when it started, bumping it up to a medium-full from a medium at the first light. The spice fluctuates, with some dead spots and some heavy spots, making this a very complex smoke. It bittered out with about an inch to go.
Burn, etc: a few cats eyes popped up here and there at the points where the wrapper defects were that i mentioned earlier, but it burned well and fixed its errors in short order.
Overall impressions/musings: Age does wonders for this smoke. this one was relatively new, but what ive found from smoking older batches with some nice years behind them is that the one thing that grows and matures the most is the spice. This becomes a stronger smoke after a while, although it wont have the spiciness of a Monte or the average Pepin.
also, a note about cuban packaging: as i mentioned earlier in another review, cuban cigar boxes smell like ass. Until i thought about it, though, i always thought thta was a bad thing. The truth is, it actually does some good for the cigar, because even though the wood smells, its not imparting any flavor on the cigar whatsoever. I mean it: i couldn't smell anything like that during any part of the smoke. Its a nice contrast from what most companies are doing now with spanish cedar, which imparts a nice flavor but a flavor nonetheless. What a cuban cigar loses in not having the aura of that wonderful warm cedar deliciousness as soon as you stick your nose in the thing, it makes up for in, sometimes, a delicious smoke.
Cigar Review 3 (Cohiba Maduro 5 Secretos)
Ahhh...Cohiba. The smell of cuban cedar immediately comes to my mind when i hear the name (for those of you who dont know, cuban cedar smells like shitbox.) Yes, i indulged on my little fact-finding trip to Free St. Maarten, and because i dont trust ANY cohiba i get in the US, i went to a davidoff store in St. Martin and picked up a Robusto, an Esplendido, a siglo 4 and 6, and two of the three maduro 5 line, the biggest and the smallest. The first i tried was the robusto, but the wind was an issue and my tastes were a bit skewed, so i went back and bought another to smoke later. The Maduro 5 i smoked, the smallest one, was pretty objective. Heres my review.
Name: Cohiba Maduro 5 Secretos
Size: Medio Corona (4 1/3 x 40)
Filler, Binder: Cuba (2 y.o.)
Wrapper: Cuba (Maduro)
Approximate Box Date: Early 2008
Pre-Cut: I'm not gonna lie, its a pretty little thing. Theres something about the colors of the band and the beautiful dark brown wrapper...aesthetics galore. The wrapper is clean and bold looking, almost as if you wanted to take a picture of the thing. I'm excited.
Cut: Smooth and perfect, even with a single guillotine. The cold draw is pretty flavorless, and im disappointed. the sugariness of the maduro wrap is pretty much all that comes through. Not much different from most maduros, i find.
ok, now it's time for...
DONT TRUST ME BECAUSE...!!!
Here in this section, i give all the reasons why my opinion is subjective, so you have no reaosn to trust me. Here we go!
1. Im not usually a fan of maduros. I find they get bitter too fast, and even after fixing them they end earlier.
2. Im a fan of small cigars. i believe i can taste the wrapper more, thus making it a more potent example of the kind of tobacco used and also a much more flavorful smoke.
3. im skeptical of Cohiba.
So, now to light the sucker.
Light and 1st impressions: It takes about a centimeter before anything but light maduro grittiness comes out. I find maduro wrapper really overpowers filler rather than blending with it, so it takes a while before even cuban filler forces its way into your taste buds. Once it did, though, the sweet/grittiness is met with nice coffee bean and leather notes. Nothing too strong, but also flavorful and potent. The thing seems like its blended well, and i can almost say i enjoy it. Its not spicy by any means, and not very cubanesque at all in its flavor profile: if anything, the cigar reminds me of a Padron Londres Maduro. Wait a second...a ten dollar cuban tastes like a 3 dollar nicaraguan? Oh, THAAAATS why i want Jose Padron to be my daddy.
First Half: It started smooth and elegant, but its not anymore. This little fucker is ALL OVER THE PLACE. First it really dove into the leather like "this is what youre gonna have to like to appreciate this cigar, so like it." Then, the leather vanishes about an inch in and its all coffee and maduro wrapper, which is more gritty as the cigar goes on. The next thing to go? The coffee. God dammit.
Second half: A Myriad of horrible tastes followed by a cold realization that i just got punk'd by Cohiba.
So, what happened? My guess is, it might have been a super fresh box of the smokes, which would have explained the lack of cohesion. Or, the cigar was just supposed to end: i smoked it until there was less than half an inch left, and in a 4.3 inch long smoke that might be cutting it close.
In any case, it really went all Nick Nolte on me. The punk'd feeling hasn't gone away though: i have the feeling that my eyes might have sold me on a cigar that wasn't so good. Cohiba will always be one of those brands that lives on its name, like Aston Martin or Moet-Chandon or Rolex. Although AM doesnt suck and probably never will, like all the others, if it did, people would still buy them.
I will say, however, the Esplendido and all the other Cohibas (including the one im most excited to try, the Siglo 6) remain unsmoked...wait for the reviews in the coming weeks!
Very sincerely,
Adam
Name: Cohiba Maduro 5 Secretos
Size: Medio Corona (4 1/3 x 40)
Filler, Binder: Cuba (2 y.o.)
Wrapper: Cuba (Maduro)
Approximate Box Date: Early 2008
Pre-Cut: I'm not gonna lie, its a pretty little thing. Theres something about the colors of the band and the beautiful dark brown wrapper...aesthetics galore. The wrapper is clean and bold looking, almost as if you wanted to take a picture of the thing. I'm excited.
Cut: Smooth and perfect, even with a single guillotine. The cold draw is pretty flavorless, and im disappointed. the sugariness of the maduro wrap is pretty much all that comes through. Not much different from most maduros, i find.
ok, now it's time for...
DONT TRUST ME BECAUSE...!!!
Here in this section, i give all the reasons why my opinion is subjective, so you have no reaosn to trust me. Here we go!
1. Im not usually a fan of maduros. I find they get bitter too fast, and even after fixing them they end earlier.
2. Im a fan of small cigars. i believe i can taste the wrapper more, thus making it a more potent example of the kind of tobacco used and also a much more flavorful smoke.
3. im skeptical of Cohiba.
So, now to light the sucker.
Light and 1st impressions: It takes about a centimeter before anything but light maduro grittiness comes out. I find maduro wrapper really overpowers filler rather than blending with it, so it takes a while before even cuban filler forces its way into your taste buds. Once it did, though, the sweet/grittiness is met with nice coffee bean and leather notes. Nothing too strong, but also flavorful and potent. The thing seems like its blended well, and i can almost say i enjoy it. Its not spicy by any means, and not very cubanesque at all in its flavor profile: if anything, the cigar reminds me of a Padron Londres Maduro. Wait a second...a ten dollar cuban tastes like a 3 dollar nicaraguan? Oh, THAAAATS why i want Jose Padron to be my daddy.
First Half: It started smooth and elegant, but its not anymore. This little fucker is ALL OVER THE PLACE. First it really dove into the leather like "this is what youre gonna have to like to appreciate this cigar, so like it." Then, the leather vanishes about an inch in and its all coffee and maduro wrapper, which is more gritty as the cigar goes on. The next thing to go? The coffee. God dammit.
Second half: A Myriad of horrible tastes followed by a cold realization that i just got punk'd by Cohiba.
So, what happened? My guess is, it might have been a super fresh box of the smokes, which would have explained the lack of cohesion. Or, the cigar was just supposed to end: i smoked it until there was less than half an inch left, and in a 4.3 inch long smoke that might be cutting it close.
In any case, it really went all Nick Nolte on me. The punk'd feeling hasn't gone away though: i have the feeling that my eyes might have sold me on a cigar that wasn't so good. Cohiba will always be one of those brands that lives on its name, like Aston Martin or Moet-Chandon or Rolex. Although AM doesnt suck and probably never will, like all the others, if it did, people would still buy them.
I will say, however, the Esplendido and all the other Cohibas (including the one im most excited to try, the Siglo 6) remain unsmoked...wait for the reviews in the coming weeks!
Very sincerely,
Adam
Cigar Reviews 1 and 2 (Avo Signature Robusto and Winston Churchill Chequers)
Cigar One: Avo Signature Robusto
Size: Robusto (5x52)
Filler: Dom. Rep.
Binder: Dom. Rep.
Wrapper: Ecuador (Sun Grown)
Approximate Box Date: Early 2008
Pre-Cut: The wrapper is a nice reddish light shade of brown, and it looks like its put together well. No apparent damages, and firm to the touch, meaning that if it draws well and cuts well the construction is well done. this is a Davidoff offshoot, so that wouldn't be totally out of the question. the smell off of the foot is vintage avo, meaning it smells like ecuador wrapper. lets see how this cuts and draws, and then we can really assess the construction.
Post-Cut: cuts beautifully...no split ends, no particles in my mouth. draw is almost too loose, like a straw thats just a tad too wide. it is a robusto, though, and i usually find that unless a really good roller has compensated for that (Padron, Pepin usually do a good job with this).
Light: lights pretty evenly, with the exception of a nice plug near the outside thats not effecting the draw, but will definitely affect the burn. The first aroma hints are of very light spice and a nice hit of cedar, very avo-y. The wrapper is probably going to dominate this cigar, as i find it usually does with most avos. this is different than avos that i remember, which is always what i liked about the avo signature blend: the cedar-grassyness of the wrapper gets balanced out a lot by a bit stronger filler, making it relatively easygoing and mellow from the start.
first third: the burn is definately getting affected by the nice fat plug in the foot...fuckers. it fixed itself eventually, and the wrapper evened out...until a nice little air pocket showed its face and cut right down the side. ah...avo. well, heres whats hitting me right now: the smoke is kind of dry on the palate, and although the body is medium to full, the flavor range on it is very limited: its smooth, but no real flavors are particularly outstanding. theres the typical ecuadorian grassiness thats mostly tingling the back of my throat, and the dominican cedar that tends to sit on every avo and make it give it its lunch money. for an avo, it has been and still is one of, if not my only, favorite, but this size isnt as balanced as id like it to be. i like the lonsdale much better, but then again, im a corona/lonsdale/panetela/lancero slave. so shoot me.
other flavors noted: very light coffee bean, cherry and milk chocolate, mostly in the filler and binder. the wrapper really tries to cover this up.
Second third: it has started to get more interesting. the light, high tone spice from our friends in ecuador is kicking up, and the tingles are getting more noticable in the front of my palate. i draw a distinction between high-tone spice, usually dominican and ecuadorian, and low tone spice, usually nicaraguan or cuban. I call them that becase thats the way they feel: high tone spice is very light, and hits the high registers of the taste buds, but it lacks any real depth. Deep spice is what smoking a Tat is like, with well rounded richness to back it up. its the difference between tabasco and really really good hot sauce...i know one is spicy, but does it taste good?
if ecuadorian wrapper was at a party, it would be the guy that demands everybody listens to his semi-interesting story that he makes interesting with his excessive use of profanity.
If connectcut wrapper was at a party, it would be the guy that everyone really really wants to tell a story but is too drunk so he passes out in the corner and leaves everyone else to clean up, usually the dominicans who got invited because they knew someone.
if nicaraguan wrapper was at the party, hed be fucking all the other wrappers girlfriends, drinking responsibly, and staying after to clean up EC's mess with the dominicans. hes just nice like that.
cuban wrapper doesnt get invited to these parties. He'd just make everybody look silly, or stupid, depending on what was at the bar and if his cuban friends were there.
the light sweetness of the chocolate and cherry is starting to balance with the cedar, making the cigar much more enjoyable IMHO: to get a feel for what im describing, imagine a PG. the burn has fixed itself again, and this time im furiously knocking on wood. the ash is very light and flaky, and if i were to try to fix it by purging it, the ash would probably flake or fall off entirely, so im not looking forward to that, although i probably will have to. The flavors are becoming much more full and well rounded, like theres not a section in the middle of the cigar thats missing, which is how it felt in the first third. im actually interested to see what happens next.
final third: the high-spice is almost turning into bitterness and tanginess. another nice air pocket tears through the wrapper about a quarter of an inch. so much for the construction kudos, although to give them credit theres not much they can do about stuff like that, at least i dont think so. The cedar is beginning to take back the space it briefly ceded to its friends chocolate, cherry and coffee. its needing to be fixed a lot, as the aroma turns bitter and oily more often than id like. this is another thing ive found about thicker avos: they end much too early. youd figure that it would be the other way around, but its the same in all of the avo lines. i stub it with about an inch and a half to go.
overall impressions and musings: i went into this expecting nothing, and got some good things to say about it and some not so good things to say. for a birthday/special edition, this belongs in more of a classic line than a super-premium: very similar to other avos, but with nothing to really set it apart aside from some balance in the filler. its the third strongest of the avos, the 80th and the 787 being 1 and 2, and id say its still my favorite thing he makes, but not my favorite kelner by a long shot.
Good things first. the cigars construction was, overall, pretty good. any floor errors like uneven burn or air pockets were very rare and shortlived. i like what they did with the balance for the wrapper by putting in a few nice sweet notes and, in retrospect, a bit of leather as well. unfortunately, the real beef i have with this thing lies in its rapid death (i was able to stretch a cigar that should have lasted an hour and a half into a buck-fifteen, which is more because it burned slowly than anything else: another kudo for the avo boys) and the fact that im just not a fan of ecuadorian spice. its an avo for someone whos never smoked avo, and if they dont like this, theres nothing really for them in this line. if you do, theres more of the same in the 80 and the 787, more grassiness in the classic and XO, and more leather and cedar in the domaine.
if i were to rate this, it would be way too biased, so id say i wouldnt mind smoking it again, but for the sticker ($14.63 w/ tax) its a bit too much to want to buy. ill smoke it again if i forget what it tastes like, or if i've been recommending it a lot and i want to check and see if its changed. id recommend this to someone who's used to smoking LGC Serie Rs and/or other henke stuff, but id more likely want them to smoke the LA preferido robusto or the Oliva series S before this. Its worth a shot, though, and if they like it, theyre an avo person.
Cigar Two: Winston Churchill Chequers
Size: Corona (5 1/2x46)
Filler: Dom. Rep., Peru, Nicaragua
Binder: Dom. Rep.
Wrapper: Ecuadorian (Sun Grown)
Approximate Box Date: Early 2008
I wrote this little review on a note card when i smoked it last thursday, using diagrams and such, so im going to try to translate it as clearly as possible using the card and what i remember from the experience.
The cigar's pretty. The band and the wrapper color really compliment each other immensely. giving the cigar a kind of asian feel to it, almost like its indian or pakistani, like the way gurkha feels. the box had some damaged sticks in it though, and i ended up smoking one with a crack in the foot out of charity. it didnt effect the draw or the burn, which were both perfect throughout the stick. it cut well, drew well and lit well (i used cedar). The cold start, or a dry draw through the smoke, was that ecuadorian light spice and cedar that henke just cant get enough of.
I wrote most of my flavor notes and critiques in terms of other henke smokes because my overall impression of the cigar is that its an expedition through what he does: Davidoff, Avo, and PG. Its really the best way ive found to really describe what the thing tastes like... youll see what i mean.
The way the cigar broke was like this: not in thirds, but in half, with the first half ascending toward the midpoint and then dropping off towards the end in almost every way. Now, heres what i mean when i say PG, avo, and davidoff.
PG (more creamy and sweet than light spicy)
v
v
v
Avo (a mixture of light ecuador.dom spice and sweet cedar)
v
v
v
Davidoff (tons of light spice with a little cedar and sweetness)
it has some off points, but i feel like its an accurate spectrum. now, on to the cigar.
The first half is all about the PG, with a little bit of avo to make it interesting and different. the blend is very well done, with lots of cherry, cocoa, earth and a little nicaraguan spice matched with a little ecuadorian spice. after about 2cm, the pg and the davidoff flavors start to rise upwards in strength, with the davidoff tang really leading the way. I noted that it was a lot smoother than any davidoff although it had many of the same essential flavors: grassyspice, cedar and light earth. The EcSG wrapper loves to dominate yet again, but with the variance in tobaccos in the filler it has competition, and thus it has some form of complexity and balance. i compared the first half to the Oliva S a lot, with a lot more flavor and complexity.
the second half leaves the davidoff and avo nature behind and really shows off a lot of PG smoothness. so, it started smooth, got stronger, and then the spice leaves and the smoothness gets stronger still until about 3/4 of the way through. i enjoyed most of this cigar a lot. no wrapper damage removing the band, which i had to do: i thought this was going to be a nubber.
alas and alack, it wasnt. At the 3/4 mark it started smelling and tasting like cheeseshit. im not kidding: cheseshit. gross. i threw it away.
thats pretty much it for that one. It was complex, well blended, and wellmade, with lots of flavors i liked, but the ending blew really hard. i said id buy this one again, but then i saw the ridicuous price tag on it and immediately changed my opinion. on the first smoke, this was not worth its price (maybe at a discounted price, but just maybe). i will be trying the churchill (bleinheim?) because the blend supposedly varies with each size and i hope they did some magic for the churchill: i mean, come on, its called winston churchill for christs sake.
reccomend to: someone who wants a PG or an Avo, but doesnt think theyre pricey enough. Super Premium customers. Oliva S fans. VSG fans. rich people. englishmen.
Size: Robusto (5x52)
Filler: Dom. Rep.
Binder: Dom. Rep.
Wrapper: Ecuador (Sun Grown)
Approximate Box Date: Early 2008
Pre-Cut: The wrapper is a nice reddish light shade of brown, and it looks like its put together well. No apparent damages, and firm to the touch, meaning that if it draws well and cuts well the construction is well done. this is a Davidoff offshoot, so that wouldn't be totally out of the question. the smell off of the foot is vintage avo, meaning it smells like ecuador wrapper. lets see how this cuts and draws, and then we can really assess the construction.
Post-Cut: cuts beautifully...no split ends, no particles in my mouth. draw is almost too loose, like a straw thats just a tad too wide. it is a robusto, though, and i usually find that unless a really good roller has compensated for that (Padron, Pepin usually do a good job with this).
Light: lights pretty evenly, with the exception of a nice plug near the outside thats not effecting the draw, but will definitely affect the burn. The first aroma hints are of very light spice and a nice hit of cedar, very avo-y. The wrapper is probably going to dominate this cigar, as i find it usually does with most avos. this is different than avos that i remember, which is always what i liked about the avo signature blend: the cedar-grassyness of the wrapper gets balanced out a lot by a bit stronger filler, making it relatively easygoing and mellow from the start.
first third: the burn is definately getting affected by the nice fat plug in the foot...fuckers. it fixed itself eventually, and the wrapper evened out...until a nice little air pocket showed its face and cut right down the side. ah...avo. well, heres whats hitting me right now: the smoke is kind of dry on the palate, and although the body is medium to full, the flavor range on it is very limited: its smooth, but no real flavors are particularly outstanding. theres the typical ecuadorian grassiness thats mostly tingling the back of my throat, and the dominican cedar that tends to sit on every avo and make it give it its lunch money. for an avo, it has been and still is one of, if not my only, favorite, but this size isnt as balanced as id like it to be. i like the lonsdale much better, but then again, im a corona/lonsdale/panetela/lancero slave. so shoot me.
other flavors noted: very light coffee bean, cherry and milk chocolate, mostly in the filler and binder. the wrapper really tries to cover this up.
Second third: it has started to get more interesting. the light, high tone spice from our friends in ecuador is kicking up, and the tingles are getting more noticable in the front of my palate. i draw a distinction between high-tone spice, usually dominican and ecuadorian, and low tone spice, usually nicaraguan or cuban. I call them that becase thats the way they feel: high tone spice is very light, and hits the high registers of the taste buds, but it lacks any real depth. Deep spice is what smoking a Tat is like, with well rounded richness to back it up. its the difference between tabasco and really really good hot sauce...i know one is spicy, but does it taste good?
if ecuadorian wrapper was at a party, it would be the guy that demands everybody listens to his semi-interesting story that he makes interesting with his excessive use of profanity.
If connectcut wrapper was at a party, it would be the guy that everyone really really wants to tell a story but is too drunk so he passes out in the corner and leaves everyone else to clean up, usually the dominicans who got invited because they knew someone.
if nicaraguan wrapper was at the party, hed be fucking all the other wrappers girlfriends, drinking responsibly, and staying after to clean up EC's mess with the dominicans. hes just nice like that.
cuban wrapper doesnt get invited to these parties. He'd just make everybody look silly, or stupid, depending on what was at the bar and if his cuban friends were there.
the light sweetness of the chocolate and cherry is starting to balance with the cedar, making the cigar much more enjoyable IMHO: to get a feel for what im describing, imagine a PG. the burn has fixed itself again, and this time im furiously knocking on wood. the ash is very light and flaky, and if i were to try to fix it by purging it, the ash would probably flake or fall off entirely, so im not looking forward to that, although i probably will have to. The flavors are becoming much more full and well rounded, like theres not a section in the middle of the cigar thats missing, which is how it felt in the first third. im actually interested to see what happens next.
final third: the high-spice is almost turning into bitterness and tanginess. another nice air pocket tears through the wrapper about a quarter of an inch. so much for the construction kudos, although to give them credit theres not much they can do about stuff like that, at least i dont think so. The cedar is beginning to take back the space it briefly ceded to its friends chocolate, cherry and coffee. its needing to be fixed a lot, as the aroma turns bitter and oily more often than id like. this is another thing ive found about thicker avos: they end much too early. youd figure that it would be the other way around, but its the same in all of the avo lines. i stub it with about an inch and a half to go.
overall impressions and musings: i went into this expecting nothing, and got some good things to say about it and some not so good things to say. for a birthday/special edition, this belongs in more of a classic line than a super-premium: very similar to other avos, but with nothing to really set it apart aside from some balance in the filler. its the third strongest of the avos, the 80th and the 787 being 1 and 2, and id say its still my favorite thing he makes, but not my favorite kelner by a long shot.
Good things first. the cigars construction was, overall, pretty good. any floor errors like uneven burn or air pockets were very rare and shortlived. i like what they did with the balance for the wrapper by putting in a few nice sweet notes and, in retrospect, a bit of leather as well. unfortunately, the real beef i have with this thing lies in its rapid death (i was able to stretch a cigar that should have lasted an hour and a half into a buck-fifteen, which is more because it burned slowly than anything else: another kudo for the avo boys) and the fact that im just not a fan of ecuadorian spice. its an avo for someone whos never smoked avo, and if they dont like this, theres nothing really for them in this line. if you do, theres more of the same in the 80 and the 787, more grassiness in the classic and XO, and more leather and cedar in the domaine.
if i were to rate this, it would be way too biased, so id say i wouldnt mind smoking it again, but for the sticker ($14.63 w/ tax) its a bit too much to want to buy. ill smoke it again if i forget what it tastes like, or if i've been recommending it a lot and i want to check and see if its changed. id recommend this to someone who's used to smoking LGC Serie Rs and/or other henke stuff, but id more likely want them to smoke the LA preferido robusto or the Oliva series S before this. Its worth a shot, though, and if they like it, theyre an avo person.
Cigar Two: Winston Churchill Chequers
Size: Corona (5 1/2x46)
Filler: Dom. Rep., Peru, Nicaragua
Binder: Dom. Rep.
Wrapper: Ecuadorian (Sun Grown)
Approximate Box Date: Early 2008
I wrote this little review on a note card when i smoked it last thursday, using diagrams and such, so im going to try to translate it as clearly as possible using the card and what i remember from the experience.
The cigar's pretty. The band and the wrapper color really compliment each other immensely. giving the cigar a kind of asian feel to it, almost like its indian or pakistani, like the way gurkha feels. the box had some damaged sticks in it though, and i ended up smoking one with a crack in the foot out of charity. it didnt effect the draw or the burn, which were both perfect throughout the stick. it cut well, drew well and lit well (i used cedar). The cold start, or a dry draw through the smoke, was that ecuadorian light spice and cedar that henke just cant get enough of.
I wrote most of my flavor notes and critiques in terms of other henke smokes because my overall impression of the cigar is that its an expedition through what he does: Davidoff, Avo, and PG. Its really the best way ive found to really describe what the thing tastes like... youll see what i mean.
The way the cigar broke was like this: not in thirds, but in half, with the first half ascending toward the midpoint and then dropping off towards the end in almost every way. Now, heres what i mean when i say PG, avo, and davidoff.
PG (more creamy and sweet than light spicy)
v
v
v
Avo (a mixture of light ecuador.dom spice and sweet cedar)
v
v
v
Davidoff (tons of light spice with a little cedar and sweetness)
it has some off points, but i feel like its an accurate spectrum. now, on to the cigar.
The first half is all about the PG, with a little bit of avo to make it interesting and different. the blend is very well done, with lots of cherry, cocoa, earth and a little nicaraguan spice matched with a little ecuadorian spice. after about 2cm, the pg and the davidoff flavors start to rise upwards in strength, with the davidoff tang really leading the way. I noted that it was a lot smoother than any davidoff although it had many of the same essential flavors: grassyspice, cedar and light earth. The EcSG wrapper loves to dominate yet again, but with the variance in tobaccos in the filler it has competition, and thus it has some form of complexity and balance. i compared the first half to the Oliva S a lot, with a lot more flavor and complexity.
the second half leaves the davidoff and avo nature behind and really shows off a lot of PG smoothness. so, it started smooth, got stronger, and then the spice leaves and the smoothness gets stronger still until about 3/4 of the way through. i enjoyed most of this cigar a lot. no wrapper damage removing the band, which i had to do: i thought this was going to be a nubber.
alas and alack, it wasnt. At the 3/4 mark it started smelling and tasting like cheeseshit. im not kidding: cheseshit. gross. i threw it away.
thats pretty much it for that one. It was complex, well blended, and wellmade, with lots of flavors i liked, but the ending blew really hard. i said id buy this one again, but then i saw the ridicuous price tag on it and immediately changed my opinion. on the first smoke, this was not worth its price (maybe at a discounted price, but just maybe). i will be trying the churchill (bleinheim?) because the blend supposedly varies with each size and i hope they did some magic for the churchill: i mean, come on, its called winston churchill for christs sake.
reccomend to: someone who wants a PG or an Avo, but doesnt think theyre pricey enough. Super Premium customers. Oliva S fans. VSG fans. rich people. englishmen.
US Out Of My Esophagus!
Since 1962, the United States has had an economic sanction known as an embargo on the sovereign nation of Cuba. The embargo forbids one American dollar from entering into Cuban hands for any reason. Until May of 2004, the Cuban government still used the Us dollar as its main business currency, at the time when it was doing at least a billion dollars of revenue in US dollars. I do not blame you, after reading these two facts, to develop a somewhat funny opinion about American law.
I, however, have to live there, so id ask that you shut your yap.
This is going to be a blog about many things, from premium cigar reviews to musings on the current state of tobacco to how they just showed Ashley Alexandra Dupri's vag in the new york post online section (they recently removed it, but i saved a copy that ill post later...it was awesome), but for now your friendly narrator needed to say something: i am, right now, breaking a law that i see as stupid and ineffective.
In my hand is a Partagas Serie D No. 4: its burning evenly and tasting great. (ladies and gentlemen, my shortest cigar review ever.) I used American dollars to buy this cigar (along with many, many others), and i could do so because right now i am in the Republic of St. Martin in the Caribbean, and they do not have an embargo against Cuba. However, I am still breaking the law. I am a citizen of the only country in the world which can punish one of its citizens for doing something in another country that is only a crime in their home country.
I will always be on the lookout for the ridiculous and the absurd, but its a bit disconcerting when my own government makes it easy for me.
I don't want this post to be another indictment of US foreign policy in Cuba, nor do i want it to be a reminder of how where i am totally whups the ass of wherever you are (although if that does happen, what can i say, ill take it). Instead, its a good jumping off point, and from here i'll jump to something i usually keep private: my politics.
I'm a fan of freedom.
I'm a fan of the freedom to fail, to screw up, and to hurt yourself if your own common sense fails you or if you deem the risk worth it.
I'm a fan of the freedom of choice: if a competitor offers a product I want, i want the freedom to choose it.
I'm a fan of freedom of privacy: I'd like to be the one to make decisions for me, and those include the decision on what i would like to do for leisure, whether it has been deemed risky or not, healthy or not, or acceptable by society or not.
I'm a fan of freedom of rule: a nations sovereignty, just as a person's freedom, is their only step into the world arena with any chance of success or hope. If a nation has no sovereignty, they might as well not even have a flag.
These are not the freedoms commonly expressed in our country today, but they are real, and vanishing fast. There wil come a time when freedom will mean something totally different than its original definition, but we will be dead and our children will not have been alive to remember it.
I am so passionate about this now not because I've had two cups of coffee in the last three hours, but because right now I am in a free country. Here are some great things about living in St. Maarten (these probably exist in other countries, too: check them out in person and chalk it up to "exploration"):
- Smoking is pretty much allowed anywhere. On the dutch side, i asked a bartender in a great restaurant called "Rare" (one of the best cuts of meat ive ever had in my life) what the smoking rules were, and he said "one at a time." Then he made me feel like such a pansy when he said that smoking rules are almost all set by the proprietor of a store or restaurant if they are at all: most if not all places allow smoking (even in retail stores!) and if you don't want to allow cigars inside because of thicker smoke or the smell overpowering the food, that's your call. Imagine that!
- There are no police cars. None. well, there are one or two, but ive never seen them driving around. theyre always parked in front of some shopping mall for some reason. I mention this because cop cars enforce speed limits, and well, there aren't any.
- No speed limits. None. What they DO have are speed bumps. Speed bumps work like this: lets say you as a road mapper think that the safest speed for a certain windy road is 40 km/hr. Oh, that reminds me...
- They use the metric system. Tear down the chains of inches, feet and yards! i'm not going to be measured by the size of some kings foot any longer! Divisible by 10 or bust!)
...Sorry.
- So, he thinks the safest speed is 40 km/hr. So, instead of setting up a speed limit and having a cop car waiting in the wings to enforce it, he puts speed bumps every 400 or so feet so that if a car is going over 40 km/hr, they put their head through the roof of their car. Or worse, damage pretty much the entire undercarriage. Or annoy a family member. This way, if you want to go slower or faster than 40 km/hr, its your perogative. Go nuts! ...we just really wouldnt reccomend it over those cement things, though. just a heads up.
- Direct elections of representatives and PM. ...just a thought.
- the island contains enough booze to kill yourself with.
- Cigarettes are no more than $2 a pack... in a casino (which the gambling age is 18). No Taxes on tobacco! Yay!
These might seem superficial and limited, and i can guarantee you they are, but i mean to bring up a point rather than prove it. Freedom is here, and i feel it. I don't feel it at home, and that will always be a bad thing.
So, here's to feeling good things. I'm going to finish this cigar and get started posting some cigar reviews, all hopefully to be found in a separate section of the blog, so unsuspecting cigar web-trollers don't have to sort through pages of ranting and raving.
Until then, take care. it's 75 degrees out and its 1:30 in the morning and im about to start cigar 2 of the day. I envy no one right now.
Adam
I, however, have to live there, so id ask that you shut your yap.
This is going to be a blog about many things, from premium cigar reviews to musings on the current state of tobacco to how they just showed Ashley Alexandra Dupri's vag in the new york post online section (they recently removed it, but i saved a copy that ill post later...it was awesome), but for now your friendly narrator needed to say something: i am, right now, breaking a law that i see as stupid and ineffective.
In my hand is a Partagas Serie D No. 4: its burning evenly and tasting great. (ladies and gentlemen, my shortest cigar review ever.) I used American dollars to buy this cigar (along with many, many others), and i could do so because right now i am in the Republic of St. Martin in the Caribbean, and they do not have an embargo against Cuba. However, I am still breaking the law. I am a citizen of the only country in the world which can punish one of its citizens for doing something in another country that is only a crime in their home country.
I will always be on the lookout for the ridiculous and the absurd, but its a bit disconcerting when my own government makes it easy for me.
I don't want this post to be another indictment of US foreign policy in Cuba, nor do i want it to be a reminder of how where i am totally whups the ass of wherever you are (although if that does happen, what can i say, ill take it). Instead, its a good jumping off point, and from here i'll jump to something i usually keep private: my politics.
I'm a fan of freedom.
I'm a fan of the freedom to fail, to screw up, and to hurt yourself if your own common sense fails you or if you deem the risk worth it.
I'm a fan of the freedom of choice: if a competitor offers a product I want, i want the freedom to choose it.
I'm a fan of freedom of privacy: I'd like to be the one to make decisions for me, and those include the decision on what i would like to do for leisure, whether it has been deemed risky or not, healthy or not, or acceptable by society or not.
I'm a fan of freedom of rule: a nations sovereignty, just as a person's freedom, is their only step into the world arena with any chance of success or hope. If a nation has no sovereignty, they might as well not even have a flag.
These are not the freedoms commonly expressed in our country today, but they are real, and vanishing fast. There wil come a time when freedom will mean something totally different than its original definition, but we will be dead and our children will not have been alive to remember it.
I am so passionate about this now not because I've had two cups of coffee in the last three hours, but because right now I am in a free country. Here are some great things about living in St. Maarten (these probably exist in other countries, too: check them out in person and chalk it up to "exploration"):
- Smoking is pretty much allowed anywhere. On the dutch side, i asked a bartender in a great restaurant called "Rare" (one of the best cuts of meat ive ever had in my life) what the smoking rules were, and he said "one at a time." Then he made me feel like such a pansy when he said that smoking rules are almost all set by the proprietor of a store or restaurant if they are at all: most if not all places allow smoking (even in retail stores!) and if you don't want to allow cigars inside because of thicker smoke or the smell overpowering the food, that's your call. Imagine that!
- There are no police cars. None. well, there are one or two, but ive never seen them driving around. theyre always parked in front of some shopping mall for some reason. I mention this because cop cars enforce speed limits, and well, there aren't any.
- No speed limits. None. What they DO have are speed bumps. Speed bumps work like this: lets say you as a road mapper think that the safest speed for a certain windy road is 40 km/hr. Oh, that reminds me...
- They use the metric system. Tear down the chains of inches, feet and yards! i'm not going to be measured by the size of some kings foot any longer! Divisible by 10 or bust!)
...Sorry.
- So, he thinks the safest speed is 40 km/hr. So, instead of setting up a speed limit and having a cop car waiting in the wings to enforce it, he puts speed bumps every 400 or so feet so that if a car is going over 40 km/hr, they put their head through the roof of their car. Or worse, damage pretty much the entire undercarriage. Or annoy a family member. This way, if you want to go slower or faster than 40 km/hr, its your perogative. Go nuts! ...we just really wouldnt reccomend it over those cement things, though. just a heads up.
- Direct elections of representatives and PM. ...just a thought.
- the island contains enough booze to kill yourself with.
- Cigarettes are no more than $2 a pack... in a casino (which the gambling age is 18). No Taxes on tobacco! Yay!
These might seem superficial and limited, and i can guarantee you they are, but i mean to bring up a point rather than prove it. Freedom is here, and i feel it. I don't feel it at home, and that will always be a bad thing.
So, here's to feeling good things. I'm going to finish this cigar and get started posting some cigar reviews, all hopefully to be found in a separate section of the blog, so unsuspecting cigar web-trollers don't have to sort through pages of ranting and raving.
Until then, take care. it's 75 degrees out and its 1:30 in the morning and im about to start cigar 2 of the day. I envy no one right now.
Adam
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
